Let's Talk About Sex

A few weeks ago I attended a "birds & bees & kids" talk given by Amy Lang at my daughter's school. I really appreciate that our school offers this these types of lectures, and I always try to attend.

She started the lecture by asking the parents about our experiences learning about sex and our bodies from our parents. The majority of the people had no recollection of "the talk", most said they learned from books or their friends and only a few people were taught that sex is a part of a loving healthy relationship. She recounted stories of a friend who was told sex meant "kissing with your tongue" (and subsequently thought she was pregnant for 6 months), of a friend who's parents referred to his penis as the "shamer" and a handful of other stories of misinformation.

Amy informed us that the US has the highest incidence of teenage pregnancy and STDs of any developed country, so clearly we are not doing our job educating our children about their bodies and their sexuality.

While this topic is uncomfortable for everyone, parents and children, it's a conversation that needs to be had, and Amy suggest as early as the age of five.

What does starting the conversation early accomplish? 
- It decreases the risk of childhood sexual assault (given the recent news headlines, this is reason enough to talk to your kids...no matter how uncomfortable it makes you).

- Children often receive contradictory information between their secular and religious educations, leaving them to question what to believe about sex and sometimes confusing them more. Open and honest communication about sex in families can help kids make sense of the mixed messages.

- Even if parents don’t feel competent in their delivery of sexual information, children receive and incorporate parental guidance with greater confidence than that from any other source.

- Parents remain the primary influences on sexual development in childhood, with siblings and sex education as close followers. During late childhood, a more powerful force – peer relationships – takes over parental influences that are vague or too late in delivery.

- Engaging in difficult conversations establishes trust and primes children to approach parents with future life challenges.

- Teaching about sex early and often contributes to a healthy sexual self-esteem. Parents may instill a realistic understanding of healthy intimate relationships.

Amy has written a few books herself (here) and recommends a handful of books to read to your children, beginning at a young age. Robie Harris writes the three most simple and straightforward. We own all three of them and have read the 4+ and are about to start the 7+. These books give your kids all the facts in a simple and age appropriate way.

Some of you may be shocked by this, but my 6 year old now knows exactly how babies are made. Her reaction was a bit comical at first..."you did that?...that's disgusting"...to which my response was "it's a normal part of a healthy, loving relationship." And that was that. The earlier you start the conversation, the easier and less awkward it will be. 

I feel thankful to have resources that help me to be a better parent, to create a safe and open dialogue in our family about uncomfortable topics,  to arm her with the knowledge necessary to protect herself and to have a healthy relationship with sexuality. 

wow. that's a lot for one post. If you have kids. check out the books. you won't be sorry. 

Amazing You

The Mini Fashionista is 5 1/2 and asks more questions than the day has hours. She's curious about everything... including her private parts. All little kids are.

A friend recently recommended this book, Amazing You: Getting Smart About Your Private Parts, and it's so good I knew I had to share it. (Sorry to those of you that are kid free).

This book is to the point. It's age appropriate and it answers many of the questions your child will have about their body. I highly recommend this book for anyone with young children. 

Kiwi Crate Update

Sometimes I wonder if anyone is reading anymore. Katie and I recognize that we have become infrequent and inconsistent in our blogging, and we're sorry.

We hope you haven't completely given up on us.

Our goal is not necessarily to give you as much content, but hopefully great content that keeps you engaged enough to read, even if we don't post as frequently.

So thank you for being loyal. We really, really appreciate it.

On to today's post...an update on the Kiwi Crate. Katie first posted a few weeks ago on the Kiwi Crate (here). She and Dr. B gave The Mini Fashionista a three month subscription for Christmas. It has hands down been one of the best gifts she has ever received.

She LOVES it!

This past weekend we spent over an hour doing the activities in her January crate. This month was focused on "ice experiments", and I think it was my favorite of the three. Not only was it fun and creative, but she also learned things like why an object will float in salt water but not fresh water!

So cool!

If you have kids, nieces, nephews...really any child in your life that you are buying a gift for, I highly recommend Kiwi Crate. The parents and the child will both be happy with the gift!

Keeping it Real

Katie and I grew up with parents that heavily stressed good manners.

We were taught to shake someone's hand (with a good, firm grip), look them in the eye and address them as Mr. or Mrs. until we were told otherwise.

We answered the telephone with a script, "Wilson residence, Regan speaking". 

We wrote thank you notes. 

We said please and thank you. 

We sat up straight without our elbows on the table (most of the time).

We asked to be excused.

We cleared our plates and put them in the dishwasher. 

My question is this, when did it become socially acceptable to be rude and disrespectful? Is it just me or have good manners become a thing of the past? This topic is on my brain because I drill into the Mini Fashionista on a daily, hourly, minutely (is that a word?) basis the importance of nice manners.

Just last week we were driving to an appointment and there was an unusual amount of traffic which was going to cause me to be about 5-10 minutes late. So I picked up my phone and called to let them know that I was going to be late. The Mini asked me "mommy, why did you say you are sorry? We only say sorry when we hit". Well yes, apologizing after hitting is important, but that is not the only time (the conversation went on).

While five minutes is a somewhat insignificant period of time, it's not really about the time. It's about having the courtesy to appreciate that everyone's time is precious and be respectful of that.

I'd like to make a few of my own observations about manners, or lack there of. And please remember, I do not admit to being perfect (Emily Post would surely have some suggestions), but I do make a concerted effort. And, I respect the fact that not everyone will agree with me on this topic.

1. It is not okay to leave a phone call/voicemail unanswered. EVER. Be it personal or professional. One of my biggest pet peeves during my time at Nike was this exact problem. Call people back.

2. Make introductions. If you are in a social setting and two people are not acquainted, introduce them as soon as possible.

3. Ask nicely. Say thank you.

4. Write thank you notes. If someone goes out of their way for you, hosts you for a dinner, makes a kind gesture, or gives you a gift, write a hand written note. Not a text. Not an email. A note. With pen and paper.

5. Write a thank you note(s) after an interview. If you really want a job, you should have enough time and motivation to do this.

6. Look people in the eye. Why is it that so many people cannot have an eye to eye conversation? I can't tell you how many times recently I have been talking to someone and they can't look me in the eye.

7. Shake hands when you meet someone. And please, please don't have a limp hand shake. There is nothing worse than a limp grip.

8. Don't be late. And if you are going to be late, pick up the phone and call, or at least, send a text. Be respectful of other people's time.

9. If someone has food in their teeth, tell them...likewise, if their underwear is caught in their skirt, they really should know.

10. And finally, put down the phone. I am writing this to tell myself as much as I am hoping to tell others. It is rude to constantly look at your phone as if there is something more important than the person/people in your company. Engage with them as if they matter. Because they do.

I believe that good manners begin at a young age. Children with bad manners are simply a result of parents with bad manners. As a parent, one of the best gifts you can give to your children is that of manners. Teach them young, and it will surely carry into their adult life and serve them well.

And may I say, thank you for reading.

C&C on the Move

This past weekend we packed up the car for a weekend of camping in Central Oregon. We knew that there were forest fires in the area, but we were hopeful that the winds would be in our favor.

Mt. Hood

Unfortunately, we drove over Mt. Hood and quickly realized that the winds WERE NOT in fact blowing in our favor. It was a tough decision, but after two hours in the car we decided to turn around.

This is the plume of smoke. We were still to the North of it. 

I mean, who wants to camp in an ash tray?

So, we decided to stay North of the smoke and camp on Mt. Hood. Well, that idea was good, in theory, but at 5:00 p.m. we found that campsite after campsite was full. Ughh!

So, nearly 5 hours after leaving the house we made the call....to head back home. What? Crazy, I know.

Thank goodness for popcorn and a movie

First we made a quick stop in Hood River to refuel and stretch our legs. It was by far the highlight of our day.

We dined right along the Columbia River at a great restaurant called Solstice, and right next door there happened to be the most amazing gelato stand called Cicci. I had the "Gorge Berry" and it was phenomenal. I could have gone back for seconds and thirds.

The Mini Fashionista enjoyed playing at the river park playground, and then we hit the road again.

Rock Climbing, her next sport

Eight hours and nearly a tank of gas later, we found ourselves back at home. Fear not, we still got our camping in. We pitched the tent in the backyard, made a fire, roasted some marshmallows and then went to bed. All three of us lasted the entire night in the tent!

We had to laugh at the whole thing....especially given that one of the Mini's favorite books, A Camping Spree with Mr. Magee, ends just as our camping adventure did.

For anyone with kids, I highly recommend this book as well as others by Chris Van Dusen. The Circus Ship is also one of our favorites.

For the Little People

Last week for her Birthday, the Mini Fashionista received a number of new books, including these two by author Andrea Beaty.

Rosie Revere Engineer

And, Iggy Peck Architect 

I thought I would share them for any of you with kids and also for anyone looking for a great present for a child! While the Mini Fashionista loves books about princesses and fairies and other make-believe characters (which is totally fine), I also like to expose her to jobs that real people do in the real world. 

These books are awesome. They promote imagination, teach children to follow their passions and are educational in that they have little history lessons interspersed.

Gearing Up For Christmas

Last year we featured these fantastic "Santa Bags" as a great addition to your Christmas traditions. Since I think they are so cool, I thought I would feature them again (and I know we have a lot of new readers).

This year the seller, Scriptingle, is offering them in a new red and white color combination. Sadly, they are only making 200 bags this holiday season, so you better get your order in quickly. 

The Balancing Act

I know I've been straying from fashion a bit lately, but I also know (or I think) that many of our readers enjoy reading about something a little "meatier" every now and again.

This is a good time to remind you that on Friday we posted a link to a C&C evaluation survey. We would really appreciate your feedback. It will help us in the future to keep things interesting and inspiring. So, if you prefer the more mindless fashion posts, let us know that too! It will only take a few minutes of your time...

Back to Today's Post. As you know from recent posts, like many women I struggle to balance my desire for a professional career and my desire to be at home with the Mini Fashionista. My friend Michele has shared the same struggles.

Like me, she left the professional world to stay at home with her two children.  Now that her girls are a little older, and in school part time, she wanted to find part time work that got her out of her yoga pants (That sounds familiar)!

After briefly looking at job postings, she realized there were no quality part-time jobs that paid enough to even cover the cost of a babysitter. Then she discovered J. Hilburn. What is J. Hilburn? I said the same thing when she told me about it.

J. Hilburn is a direct-sales company that specializes in "luxury within reach" menswear. They offer custom shirts, personalized suits and a whole line of ready-to-wear clothing such as shorts, polos, sweaters, AG Jeans and much more. This guy looks pretty dang good to me! Love the polka dot pocket square!

I digress...Michele's job with J.Hilburn is similar to being an Arbonne or Stella and Dot representative (to give it some context). Although she claims that men are a much easier clientele!! She divides her time between sales activities (setting appointments with clients, meeting with clients, planning wardrobe selections etc...) and team building activities (having coffee dates and networking), and she works about 5-10 hours per week!

So why am I sharing this with C&C readers? Well, first of all, J.Hilburn offers really nice menswear, and maybe your +1 needs a little wardrobe refresher! Secondly, some of you may be just like Michele and are looking for a part time job that allows you to stay at home with your children! How cool would it be if this post helped you make the leap from your full time career?

If you or a friend are looking for a fun and flexible career opportunity, feel free to reach out to Michele (michele.scharg@jhilburnpartner.com). She can give you all the details! And maybe the guy in the polka dot pocket square will show up on your doorstep...that wouldn't be half bad either.

Products We Love

I'm not planning on having anymore children, but these little moccasins from Freshly Picked might make me want to.....

NOPE!!! NOT HAPPENING! I may never put them on my own child, but I will certainly be buying these for all of my friends who are having babies and for any to-be nieces or nephews...no pressure Katie! They are the cutest! 

The moccasins are homemade by Susan Petersen in her home in Utah. Susan started making baby moccasins in 2009 after becoming frustrated by the lack of well-designed baby shoes. Using some scrap leather she picked up at a yard sale, she began experimenting with designs. Working at her kitchen table, on a shoestring budget, Susan created a pair of moccasins that are adorable and stay on your little person's feet!

Now if I could just place bets on how many of you are going to order a pair! :)

Shoes, Little Shoes.

It's no big surprise that the Mini Fashionista's style is a direct translation of my own personal style (I'm dreading the day she refuses to let me choose her clothes). Similarly my love of buying shoes for myself has become a love of buying shoes for the Mini. There's just something about little shoes that sucks me in.

I buy the majority of the Mini's clothes at consignment sales and on ebay, so I definitely splurge more on her shoes. Recently I took advantage of a 40% off sale at Boden and and got her a cute pair of short suede boots for the fall and winter.

Then I got sucked into the Zara shoe vortex and ordered these two pairs for her for the summer. 

Polka Dot Plimsole

Grey Strappy Sandal

Here she is sporting her new polka dot kicks! 

If you would like to buy a similar pair for yourself (I am tempted) this pair from Keds is a close match! 

If you've never shopped Zara online for baby and kid's shoes and clothes, you should! They have an amazing collection. Most of the shoes are between $35 and $50.  I could have ordered nearly every pair. Here are a few of my other favorites. And truth be told, I would wear all of these shoes myself!

And if you didn't read Friday's post, we are looking for your feedback on C&C. You can access the survey here! Thanks for taking a few minutes to help us keep C&C exciting and engaging.

Keeping It Real

Lately I've been all about the "keeping it real" posts.

I try (key word) not to over share when it comes to my personal life, my beliefs, etc., but I think this is a topic worth bringing some thought to. A while back, after a long day, I made this post on my facebook page, knowing full well I would get plenty of responses...

"Any other moms wonder why you spent all those years in college and grad school just to spend most of your day doing "jobs" that require no education at all....cleaning, dog walking, laundry, etc. 
I'm sure I'll use my brain again someday!"

You see, since leaving my "traditional" 8-5 job and becoming, for the most part, a stay at home mom, I've struggled with my identity. I think it can officially be called an identify crisis. I spent all of my childhood, teens and twenties striving towards a personal goal; first it was college, then it was medical school, then it became graduate school and a job at Nike, and the next job at Nike, and then my own business...Sport Lab Ltd.

And then, I had a baby, and suddenly those kinds of goals weren't as important to me anymore, at least for the time being. But two years into motherhood I still find it hard to let go of who I was and the job I had, and there are times when I miss being in the professional world 5 days a week.

So, why is that? Maybe it's because the majority of my friends are professional, working women or maybe it's because our generation was told we could be anything: a doctor, an astronaut, an engineer, or even President; and never did that "anything" statement include being a stay-at-home mom.
Or maybe it's because despite being a pretty secure person, this is one of my insecurities...

Whatever the reason, I am constantly evaluating my place in the professional world and my place as a mother. I think for all women (okay...most) there will always be a struggle to balance work and family.   I will always be challenged to balance the drive and motivation I have to achieve in a professional environment with my love for my child and the flexibility my family has because I don't have a professional career.

So after all of that... there is no resolution to this post, but I thought I would share some recent books and articles that shed more light on this struggle that so many women experience. A friendly reminder for all of us, whatever your decision is... to work or not to work.. we as women should support one another and respect each other's choices, even if they are different from our own.

And let me add. Being a "stay-at-home mom" is by far the most difficult job I have ever had. No question!

Now for some light reading:

What Not to Say To Working Moms vs. Stay-At-Home Moms: What You Should NEVER Say To Them


Torn: True Stories of Kids, Career & the Conflict of Modern Motherhood by Samantha Parent Walravens
Striking the right balance between career and motherhood is one of the most stressful, heart-wrenching tasks facing women today. In Torn, forty-six women examine the conflict between the need to nurture and the need to work, and reveal creative solutions for having the best of both worlds. The stories in the collection offer hope and inspiration, but they also reveal the messy realities of modern motherhood and life's inevitable crises, both small and large: from breast pump mishaps to battles with cancer; diaper blowouts to debilitating depression; competitive cupcake baking to coming home from war. In the end, the reader can take comfort in the knowledge that there is no perfect mother; nor is there a perfect balance when it comes to kids and career. The real challenge facing women today is not juggling their many roles, but realigning their expectations of what is possible and accepting that success does not equal "doing it all."


Good Enough is the New Perfect: Finding Happiness and Success in Modern Motherhood by Becky Beaupre Gillespie
Join a growing new wave of mothers who are learning to let go of the little things and focus on what they really want out of their career, their family and their life. Through their groundbreaking research, Becky Beaupre Gillespie and Hollee Schwartz Temple have discovered a paradigm shift in motherhood today: more and more mothers are losing their "never enough" attitude and embracing a Good Enough mindset to be happier, more confident and more successful. Filled with inspiring firsthand accounts from working mothers and drawn from the latest research, Good Enough Is the New Perfect is a true road map for the incredible balancing act we call motherhood.

 I Just Want To Pee Alone 
Motherhood is the toughest – and funniest – job you'll ever love. Raising kids is hard work. The pay sucks, your boss is a tyrant, and the working conditions are pitiful – you can't even take a bathroom break without being interrupted with another outrageous demand. Hasn't every mother said it before? “I just want to pee alone!” I Just Want to Pee Alone is a collection of hilarious essays from 37 of the most kick ass mom bloggers on the web.

Keeping It Real

So now that I've shared our vacation photos full of beautiful vistas, smiling faces, delicious food and fun sporting activities. Let me keep it real (remember my promise) and talk about the reality of traveling to Europe with a toddler.

For those of you without kids (or those with) who don't enjoy hearing other people talk about their kids, you probably want to stop reading now. Tomorrow we will be back with kid free content, I promise!

Back to the reality of traveling overseas with a toddler.....it is a lot of work. It can be fun, but those moments are often fleeting. We had many highs and lows during our two week adventure. You saw the highs in our photos, and now for the lows. Here is my "keeping it real" Top 10 worst things about traveling with a toddler list.

Top 10 Worst Things about Traveling with a Toddler 

10. The in-flight entertainment consists of keeping your toddler entertained (I brought 3 books and only read 54 pages in 2+ weeks), and occupying a child for 10+ hours on an airplane requires coloring books, crayons, DVDs, books, stickers, food and so much other stuff you don't have room in your bag for the aforementioned in-flight entertainment anyway.

9. Consider yourself a Sherpa. Forget about your sleek roller bag, your designer handbag and Starbucks coffee cup in hand...Prepare to carry a backpack, a carseat, a carry-on suitcase and whatever other items you and your little person might need in a 24+ hour period of time. And it must be said, carrying all this stuff doesn't look chic. It just looks heavy and like a lot of work, and it is!

8. You must pack as if your luggage will be lost (because it will be), so make sure you have what you and your toddler need in the carry-on arsenal (see #9).

7. You will be "those" obnoxious people going through security who have 10 bins full of your 6 bags, 4 electronic devices, 3 coats, 2 pairs of shoes, and multiple bags of liquids, and it will take forever, and inevitably, you will forget to take something out of the bag and back-up the entire line.

6. Your toddler will not eat when or what you want them to, making meal-time in a restaurant challenging, to say the least. As a result, you will give them something you would never allow at home,  like Sprite (I am ashamed).

4. Your toddler will not sleep when you want them to, which means you will not sleep either. Prepare yourself for feeling like you have a newborn again...at least for a couple of days.

3. Your toddler may ask to go "home" multiple times a day, and that will make your heart hurt, just a little.

2. Sadly, your toddler has no idea that "home" is a nine hour time difference and thousands of miles away, and there is no way for you to explain it.

1. Inevitably you will end up getting spilled on, peed or pooped on, puked on, or all of the above while on the airplane, so make sure to bring a change of clothes for yourself and your little person. Remember, you have a carry-on (see #8).

So there you have it, some of the worst things about traveling overseas with a toddler. There are certainly others, but I must be blocking them from my memory.

In closing, if you are thinking about taking your toddler on a "big trip" just for fun, I will tell you that it won't always be fun. If you have a reason for an overseas trip like visiting family, a wedding, work etc then by all means, go for it. While there will be plenty of crappy moments, they will be equaled in number by the ones that make you laugh and smile. Honestly, I'm hoping that over time the pictures will only bring back the happy memories and that those hair pulling, head banging ones are a thing of the past. I think they will be.

Gift Guide- The Little People

This week's gift guide is for all the little people in your life! Be it a son or daughter, niece or nephew or your best friend's little person. Here are some fantastic gifts for the holiday season. 

Modern Twist placemat

We bought one of these for The Mini Fashionista on our fall trip to Napa. The placemat comes with dry erase markers that wipe off without any elbow grease at all. It is a sure fire winner for kids of any age.

The Elf on the Shelf

"During the holiday season, the elf watches children by day and reports to Santa each night. When children awake, the elf has returned from the North Pole and can be found hiding in a different location." The Mini Fashionista received the Elf on the Shelf from her Aunt Katie, and he made his debut on Friday. So far he's given Santa a good report.

The Wonderworld Cleaning Cart

This is on the Mini Fashionista's Christmas list. She's clearly my child as she LOVES to clean! I'm sure it won't last long...

The Skuut Balance Bike

These bikes are a great precursor to a real bike as it helps to develop balance while your child is still close to the ground. 

And you can NEVER go wrong with a Jellycat animal. These are the most cuddly, lovable creatures ever. From dogs to bunnies, penguins and donkeys, there are lots to choose from.

Happy shopping! I hope that this made your shopping for the little people a little easier.

Overnight Delivery

Last week I stumbled upon the most adorable Christmas tradition, the "Santa sack!" I was immediately ready to place my order for the Mini Fashionista.

The sack is made by a British company called Harrow & Green . It turns out this must be a British tradition because every vendor I found is located in the UK. As I made the final clicks to complete my order I was shocked by the fact that the cost of the bag was the same as the shipping $30! So, I decided to look for other options.

Of course, Etsy was the first place I looked, and I was lucky to find a number of choices. I ended on this one, also from a British vendor, called Scriptingle. The total cost with shipping was only $35 with shipping!

I can't wait for it to arrive and for the Mini to enjoy this Christmas tradition for many years to come!

Going Deeper

I will begin this post with an apology...for those of you expecting a post on fashion, I am sorry, not today! I promise tomorrow we will be back with our usual content, but today I thought I would get a little deeper...(For fashion, check out Katie's guest post on Twirling Clare).

For some reason I have been on a "self-help" kick lately. I'm not sure why, but for whatever reason I have this feeling that I want to be better...a better wife, a better mother, a better sister, friend...you get the picture.

Anyway, my self-help kick started with our latest book club pick, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. This book is her one year quest to be happier and addresses her marriage, kids, friends, work, etc. In one chapter of the book Rubin describes how having too many choices (i.e. too many clothes) can actually result in less happiness. I know, you are thinking, "that's crazy...the more I have, the better I feel," but I have to agree with her. Now that I don't "dress" everyday, I find choosing my outfit to be challenging and sometimes quite miserable because I have too much to chose from and not enough opportunities to wear what I have. I suppose there are worse problems to have. Anyway, if you are looking for a good, quick read. Check it out!

On to the next area of self-help...Parenting! The Mini Fashionista is quickly approaching her 1st birthday. And while I feel that I have a good grasp of proper parenting techniques (many, many years of babysitting), I still am the kind of parent that likes to have a strategy for every situation. So I recently picked up three parenting books.

1) How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk. This one I won't be able to "apply" for a few years since the Mini Fashionista hasn't begun talking yet, but I can already tell it will be extremely useful. The book gives parents techniques to cope with a child's negative feelings, to express anger without being hurtful, and to set limits and still maintain goodwill. Honestly, I think some of the strategies can even be used with adults!

2) Raising a Happy Unspoiled Child, The focus of this book is on children age zero to 3 and teaches you how to bring up an independent, socially secure, and delightful child. I have already used many of the strategies in this book and find them extremely helpful for situations such as biting, crying and diapering. Any mom with a 7+ month old knows that getting your child to be still while getting changed is a challenge...and this book offers great strategies.

3) Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting. I am sure many of you saw the recent WSJ article titled Why French Parents Are Superior. This article really resonated with my husband and I, so I thought I would pick up the book (same author). I haven't started it yet, but a friend is reading it and so far thinks it is fantastic...her husband is also French, so she may be a bit biased.

And while we are on the subject of babies/parenting, for any of you new or soon to be moms, may I suggest Baby Wise.  I used this book to guide The Mini Fashionista's eating and sleeping schedule in the first months of life, and it is fantastic! She was sleeping 8 hours at 6 weeks old and has been sleeping 12 hours a night since about 3 months. It is broken down by age category and is quick and easy to read and use as a reference at each step along the way.

So, thanks for letting me digress a bit. I promise tomorrow we will be back with more on style and fashion, most importantly a recap of the H&M Marni launch from here in Portland!