Keeping It Real

Today's "Keeping It Real" post is mostly for the mom readers. This is an excerpt from an editorial written by Steve Wiens for the Huffington Post that resonated strongly with me . I think it's a nice reminder for all moms that we are doing the best we can. Because some days, the smoothie ends up all over the kitchen, the counter and your laptop and you do everything you can just to keep it together. Which in this case involved taking a picture of the Mini Fashionista freaking out! 

"If you are a parent of small children, you know that there are moments of spectacular delight, and you can't believe you get to be around these little people. But let me be the one who says the following things out loud:

You are not a terrible parent if you can't figure out a way for your children to eat as healthy as your friend's children do. She's obviously using a bizarre and probably illegal form of hypnotism.

You are not a terrible parent if you yell at your kids sometimes. You have little dictators living in your house. If someone else talked to you like that, they'd be put in prison.

You are not a terrible parent if you can't figure out how to calmly give them appropriate consequences in real time for every single act of terrorism that they so creatively devise.

You are not a terrible parent if you'd rather be at work.

You are not a terrible parent if you just can't wait for them to go to bed.

You are not a terrible parent if the sound of their voices sometimes makes you want to drink and never stop.

You're not a terrible parent.

You're an actual parent with limits. You cannot do it all. We all need to admit that one of the casualties specific to our information saturated culture is that we have sky-scraper standards for parenting, where we feel like we're failing horribly if we feed our children chicken nuggets and we let them watch TV in the morning.

One of the reasons we are so exhausted is that we are oversaturated with information about the kind of parents we should be.

So, maybe it's time to stop reading the blogs that tell you how to raise the next president who knows how to read when she's 3 and who cooks, not only eats, her vegetables. Maybe it's time to embrace being the kind of parent who says sorry when you yell. Who models what it's like to take time for yourself. "

So next time you have a "smoothie" moment and want to ship your child to Siberia, take a deep breath and remember you are not a terrible parent. 

The Balancing Act

I know I've been straying from fashion a bit lately, but I also know (or I think) that many of our readers enjoy reading about something a little "meatier" every now and again.

This is a good time to remind you that on Friday we posted a link to a C&C evaluation survey. We would really appreciate your feedback. It will help us in the future to keep things interesting and inspiring. So, if you prefer the more mindless fashion posts, let us know that too! It will only take a few minutes of your time...

Back to Today's Post. As you know from recent posts, like many women I struggle to balance my desire for a professional career and my desire to be at home with the Mini Fashionista. My friend Michele has shared the same struggles.

Like me, she left the professional world to stay at home with her two children.  Now that her girls are a little older, and in school part time, she wanted to find part time work that got her out of her yoga pants (That sounds familiar)!

After briefly looking at job postings, she realized there were no quality part-time jobs that paid enough to even cover the cost of a babysitter. Then she discovered J. Hilburn. What is J. Hilburn? I said the same thing when she told me about it.

J. Hilburn is a direct-sales company that specializes in "luxury within reach" menswear. They offer custom shirts, personalized suits and a whole line of ready-to-wear clothing such as shorts, polos, sweaters, AG Jeans and much more. This guy looks pretty dang good to me! Love the polka dot pocket square!

I digress...Michele's job with J.Hilburn is similar to being an Arbonne or Stella and Dot representative (to give it some context). Although she claims that men are a much easier clientele!! She divides her time between sales activities (setting appointments with clients, meeting with clients, planning wardrobe selections etc...) and team building activities (having coffee dates and networking), and she works about 5-10 hours per week!

So why am I sharing this with C&C readers? Well, first of all, J.Hilburn offers really nice menswear, and maybe your +1 needs a little wardrobe refresher! Secondly, some of you may be just like Michele and are looking for a part time job that allows you to stay at home with your children! How cool would it be if this post helped you make the leap from your full time career?

If you or a friend are looking for a fun and flexible career opportunity, feel free to reach out to Michele (michele.scharg@jhilburnpartner.com). She can give you all the details! And maybe the guy in the polka dot pocket square will show up on your doorstep...that wouldn't be half bad either.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to our fantastic mother. You have been a great role model for 32+ years. 

We Love you! 

And a side note...I recently filmed a 30 minute barre3 online workout with two other barre3 moms! The workout is free until the end of the month! Whether you are a mom, or not, this workout will be 30 minutes of balance and efficiency...and some good booty kicking!

You can access the workout here!

Keeping It Real

Lately I've been all about the "keeping it real" posts.

I try (key word) not to over share when it comes to my personal life, my beliefs, etc., but I think this is a topic worth bringing some thought to. A while back, after a long day, I made this post on my facebook page, knowing full well I would get plenty of responses...

"Any other moms wonder why you spent all those years in college and grad school just to spend most of your day doing "jobs" that require no education at all....cleaning, dog walking, laundry, etc. 
I'm sure I'll use my brain again someday!"

You see, since leaving my "traditional" 8-5 job and becoming, for the most part, a stay at home mom, I've struggled with my identity. I think it can officially be called an identify crisis. I spent all of my childhood, teens and twenties striving towards a personal goal; first it was college, then it was medical school, then it became graduate school and a job at Nike, and the next job at Nike, and then my own business...Sport Lab Ltd.

And then, I had a baby, and suddenly those kinds of goals weren't as important to me anymore, at least for the time being. But two years into motherhood I still find it hard to let go of who I was and the job I had, and there are times when I miss being in the professional world 5 days a week.

So, why is that? Maybe it's because the majority of my friends are professional, working women or maybe it's because our generation was told we could be anything: a doctor, an astronaut, an engineer, or even President; and never did that "anything" statement include being a stay-at-home mom.
Or maybe it's because despite being a pretty secure person, this is one of my insecurities...

Whatever the reason, I am constantly evaluating my place in the professional world and my place as a mother. I think for all women (okay...most) there will always be a struggle to balance work and family.   I will always be challenged to balance the drive and motivation I have to achieve in a professional environment with my love for my child and the flexibility my family has because I don't have a professional career.

So after all of that... there is no resolution to this post, but I thought I would share some recent books and articles that shed more light on this struggle that so many women experience. A friendly reminder for all of us, whatever your decision is... to work or not to work.. we as women should support one another and respect each other's choices, even if they are different from our own.

And let me add. Being a "stay-at-home mom" is by far the most difficult job I have ever had. No question!

Now for some light reading:

What Not to Say To Working Moms vs. Stay-At-Home Moms: What You Should NEVER Say To Them


Torn: True Stories of Kids, Career & the Conflict of Modern Motherhood by Samantha Parent Walravens
Striking the right balance between career and motherhood is one of the most stressful, heart-wrenching tasks facing women today. In Torn, forty-six women examine the conflict between the need to nurture and the need to work, and reveal creative solutions for having the best of both worlds. The stories in the collection offer hope and inspiration, but they also reveal the messy realities of modern motherhood and life's inevitable crises, both small and large: from breast pump mishaps to battles with cancer; diaper blowouts to debilitating depression; competitive cupcake baking to coming home from war. In the end, the reader can take comfort in the knowledge that there is no perfect mother; nor is there a perfect balance when it comes to kids and career. The real challenge facing women today is not juggling their many roles, but realigning their expectations of what is possible and accepting that success does not equal "doing it all."


Good Enough is the New Perfect: Finding Happiness and Success in Modern Motherhood by Becky Beaupre Gillespie
Join a growing new wave of mothers who are learning to let go of the little things and focus on what they really want out of their career, their family and their life. Through their groundbreaking research, Becky Beaupre Gillespie and Hollee Schwartz Temple have discovered a paradigm shift in motherhood today: more and more mothers are losing their "never enough" attitude and embracing a Good Enough mindset to be happier, more confident and more successful. Filled with inspiring firsthand accounts from working mothers and drawn from the latest research, Good Enough Is the New Perfect is a true road map for the incredible balancing act we call motherhood.

 I Just Want To Pee Alone 
Motherhood is the toughest – and funniest – job you'll ever love. Raising kids is hard work. The pay sucks, your boss is a tyrant, and the working conditions are pitiful – you can't even take a bathroom break without being interrupted with another outrageous demand. Hasn't every mother said it before? “I just want to pee alone!” I Just Want to Pee Alone is a collection of hilarious essays from 37 of the most kick ass mom bloggers on the web.