Keeping It Real: More Happy

I'm not usually one for resolutions. If you've read Gretchen Rubin's Book (or heard about it), The Four Tendencies, then you know when I say "I'm an upholder" that I don't need resolutions. Upholders respond readily to inner and outer expectations, so if I say I'm going to do something, I do it, and it can be any time of the year.

Anyway, to the point of this post....I started the year off with a nine hour drive from Sun Valley back to Portland. During that time I couldn't help but think about the year ahead and goals I have for myself, so I started writing them down in categories. Ironically I came up with nine.

1. Parenting
2. Sleep
3. Meditation
4. Hyrdration
5. Reading
6. Posture
7. Marriage
8. Connection with friends
9. Cooking

I thought about dedicating a month to each category, but I only had nine things on my list, and I didn't want to come up with three more. That seemed too much like a "resolution", and as I said...I don't really do resolutions. Since all of the categories are important to me, I don't want to prioritize them. Instead I'm being mindful of as many as I can on a daily basis. It's simply a list of things that I want to focus on in order to bring greater happiness and fulfillment to my life, and every little bit counts.

Over the next few months I'll be writing about each category, how I'm focusing on it, any challenges that arise and anything else that comes to mind.

Today I'm starting with #8. Connection with friends.

Friendship is something I have been thinking a lot about over the last year.  Like so many things in life, friendships change with time. Over the past year, there have been times when I don't feel fulfilled by my friendships, when I feel like they are failing me, when I miss what they used to be.

I'm a people person. I'm a connector. I'm a networker, and I have a big network. I have a lot of "friends", but what I've found is that this group of "friends" isn't always meeting my friendship needs. Many of the friendships are superficial, they are fleeting, they are unfulfilling and in some cases they feel one sided. This is not necessarily a reflection of the friend. More than anything it's a result of overly busy lives. I've learned that if your life doesn't run in parallel to your friend's, it makes consistent, meaningful interactions very challenging, almost impossible in some cases.

Someone recently posted this to Facebook, and it really resonated with me.

So, this year I'm focusing on nurturing and cultivating the friendships that mean the most to me, the ones that make me happiest and the ones that I care the most about. For my far away friends, that means writing more emails, sending texts, picking up the phone and even sending letters. For the friends in Portland, it means making a conscious effort to see the people that matter most to me on a regular basis. It means prioritizing a girl's night out, lunch, a walk or whatever it takes to make it fit in our busy lives.  It means putting my friendships higher on my priority list. I'm happiest when I connect with my friends. They build me up. They feed my soul. They make me happy.

I consider myself an already happy person, but there can never be too much personal satisfaction, fulfillment and happiness in one's life. So it seems like my theme for 2018 is finding more "happy" and focusing on #8 on my list will surely do that.