Keeping it Real: Feeling Ugly

I've had this post "topic" in my queue for a while now, and have debated about whether I should even write it. Well, last night as I realized I didn't have a post for today and was short on new ideas, I decided it was time to just do it.

You know that I like to "keep it real", and keeping it real means sharing raw and honest content, even if it means putting myself out there in a vulnerable way.

So here goes. Lately, I have been feeling ugly. Now, please realize that in writing this post I am not looking for everyone to comment and tell me "that I'm crazy and that I am not ugly". That's not the point.

Let me backtrack a bit. It started at the beginning of March when I pulled the back hatch of the car down directly into the bridge of my nose. The blow was hard. It knocked me to my knees. I was lucky not to have broken my nose, but it did leave a big gash and a large scar. Here it is all taped up shortly after the incident.

Since then I've tried to cover up the scar with makeup, but it's nearly impossible. It's the first thing I notice every time I look in the mirror. There it is right between my eyes. And it makes me feel ugly. 

Then, a few weeks ago the Mini Fashionista and her little friend were helping me pump up the stroller tires. Once the tires were filled I bent over to remove the valve, and her little friend pulled the pump right up into the corner of my eye. Blow 2! 

What I see when I look in the mirror are scars, dark circles, a big freckle on my nose that people always mistake for "something on my nose", greasy hair and every little flaw I can come up with.

My mom will surely read this post, and mom, I want to assure you that you did a great job nurturing our self esteem, teaching us what is important and giving us the skills necessary to succeed in a tough world, so don't call me after reading this because you are worried. I promise. I'm good.

So my question...

Why is it that we mostly see the worst in ourselves, the ugly, yet others see the best?
I am a confident person. I'd call my self-esteem, pretty good, but sometimes, I find it hard to see the good, and all I can focus on is the bad.

I'm working on it.

Since you learned earlier this week that I love self-help books, I thought I would share one that is closely related to the topic of this post. This book will soon be making it's way to my bedside table.

100 Tips for Parents and Teachers, Raising Confident Girls

It's never too late to boost my own confidence and self esteem. I hope that by working harder to see the good in myself, that I can teach my daughter to do the same.